Forgive so your wound can heal, But do not forget so you won’t get bitten at the same place.
Embracing Forgiveness for Inner Peace.
Assalamualaikum everyone, today we are going to talk about forgiveness and forgetting. Forgiveness can be hard to give if you think of it as a gift for someone else, but if you think of it as a gift to yourself, Allah will forgive you too one day can make it easy for you. There are many attributes of Allah and we as a human cannot be like him and fit into his attributes but there are some attributes he encourages us to try to fulfill. And one of them is forgiveness and mercy. Because Allah is the most merciful and most forgiving we as Muslims should also try to be.
Why Forgiving Is ImportantFor Us
Forgiving someone who has wronged us is often easier said than done. When we’ve been hurt, the pain can be all-consuming, making it difficult to let go of the anger and resentment. However, holding onto these negative emotions only prolongs our suffering. It’s important to understand that forgiveness is not about condoning the wrongdoing; it’s about freeing ourselves from the burden of carrying that pain. Forgiving is beneficial for us more than it is beneficial for someone else. Because with forgiveness we empty our hearts of ugly emotions and free our souls from the chains of sadness. It not only emptys the heart but fills our hearts with positivity. Most importantly Islam is the epitome of peacefulness, love, compassion, and empathy. We carry Islam in our hearts so it is our responsibility to keep bad emotions away from it. Forgiving others enhances our self-esteem and self-worth. It allows us to understand that it is we who are in control of our emotions rather than in control of grudges and negativity.
The Benefits of Forgiveness
Forgiveness has numerous psychological and emotional benefits. When we forgive, we release ourselves from the grip of negative emotions. It can lead to reduced stress, lower blood pressure, and improved mental health. Forgiveness also opens the door to healthier relationships, as it allows us to move past conflicts and rebuild trust. Moreover, it can foster empathy and compassion, promoting a more positive outlook on life.
The Art of Forgetting
While forgiveness is a powerful step toward healing, it frequently coexists with forgetting. Is it possible, however, to truly erase the hurt that someone has caused us? While we cannot completely delete the memories, we can choose not to concentrate on it. This “forgive and forget” approach does not imply ignoring the past, but rather releasing its hold on our present and future. Yes, it’s true while forgiving is good for us, forgetting can sabotage us in some way now. Personally, this advice is influenced by my own self, not Islamically. Forgetting can make us blind and go through the same pain again. You can forgive someone but forgetting what they did is one other thing. With personal experience, I have been through these types of situations numerous times. Forgive and forget what they did and when they made the same mistake again I acted surprised and blamed the situation where the only one to blame was there is me. After many betrayals and hurtful situations, I realized forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting what they did. You should understand letting the same person again in your heart after many betrayals is stupidity, not compassion. In the end, you should always remember what they did so you won’t get bit at the same place. Unless they are actually changed.
Not Seeking Revenge.
When they are wronged, Muslims are encouraged not to seek vengeance or retaliate with injury. In Surah Al-Ash-Shura (42:40-43), Allah says, “The recompense for an injury is an injury equal to it (in degree), but if a person forgives and reconciles, his reward is due from Allah.” He certainly does not like wrongdoers.” What does it tell us? With this verse, we can understand that whereas humans putting them into the same situation and making them go through the same pain is not forbidden, it is highly rewarded to just not do anything and let them go with no harm done. Now the question comes that if Allah did not forbade us to do the same harm why should we not do it? because we don’t want Allah to punish us for our mistakes right? We want him to just forgive us right? Then why should we not let others go without punishing them and taking revenge?
How to Practice Forgiveness?
- Recognize your emotions: Begin by recognizing your pain and fury. It is critical to recognize these emotions before you can begin to let them go. We often suppress these emotions because they are usually considered ‘Bad Emotions’ but you should understand that it’s not healthy to throw these emotions in the back of the mind. In the end, if you decide to let it go and forgive those feelings can back in the future because you never fully accepted them. You should understand why you felt that way and why you should accept those feelings now.
- Try to grasp the other person’s point of view. This is not to condone their actions, but it can help you see the wider picture. where it can feel like it’s not your responsibility to understand their point of view because they are the bad guys in your story. It can be beneficial for you to understand why they did it and can make the process easy for you.
- Communicate or write it down: Expressing your feelings to the individual who has harmed you might be healing. Alternatively, you can relieve your emotions by writing a letter (even if you don’t mean to send it). And if it’s too hurtful for you to write anything dedicating them just journal your thoughts. It’s more healthy for you than lashing out at others.
Conclusion
In the end, it always depends on how we are going to handle our situation. Because no one knows what we went through except Allah and us. So the best decision is up to you. What you decide for yourself and it’s up to you how you decide to choose to feel now and in the future. But never let your bad emotions rule in your mind and make decisions on your behalf. Remember to always cool down first and wait till you are not high on emotions. That’s it for today guys until next time.
Fi AmanAllah. M.Ali.
